Good Friday: Man of Sorrows, Acquainted with Grief
- kristaheide
- Apr 16
- 5 min read
Published by Vineyard Canada, on April 16, 2025
In ancient liturgical tradition, Christians are invited to order their days and sense of time by a cyclical remembering of the stories of Scripture. From Advent to Christmas, from Lent to Holy Week to Easter, from Pentecost to ordinary time - year after year, we are invited to immerse ourselves in the story of God. We are invited to observe and witness both the ordinary and the miraculous, again and again, until God's story becomes our story. Until the story of Jesus- sacrificially emptying himself for the flourishing of all- becomes our main sense of orientation, our main sense of identity, hope and purpose.
It is with this heart that today we enter the story of Good Friday.(1)
In Jewish tradition, a day began at nightfall.(2) In this way, Good Friday would have begun as Jesus and his disciples concluded their Passover feast and began to walk towards the Mount of Olives, singing a traditional hymn (Matthew 26:30).
From there we are invited to observe and enter into the most agonizing unfolding. As Stanley Hauerwas names, "betrayal now marks the time Jesus has before he is to die:"(4)
Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, overwhelmed to the point of death, sweating blood,(5) and pleading in desperation for God to remove the cup of suffering (Matthew 26:36- 44).
A betrayal from a dear friend, under the guise of a kiss (Matthew 26:46-50).
A frenzied sword clash, an ear cut off and an ear restored, amid a rebuke against warfare (Matthew 26:51-56).
The desertion by all his disciples who had promised to "follow" (Matthew 26:56).
A Jewish trial, hidden behind closed doors, at night, charging him guilty of blasphemy and worthy of death (Matthew 26:57-68).
An early morning Roman trial before reigning Governor Pilate (Matthew 27:11-26).
A crowd, who five days ago enveloped Jesus with shouts of "Hosanna," now chants "Crucify him!" as they ask for Barabbas to be released instead (Matthew 27:15-26).
Mocking this "King of the Jews," the Roman soldiers dress him with a purple cloak and a crown of thorns, while taunting, flogging, and spitting on him (Mark 15: 16-20).
With his physical body weary from a night of no sleep, the heartache of betrayal and degrading physical torment, Jesus is forced to carry his own means of execution, a heavy wood cross, until he can lift it no more (John 19:16-17, Luke 23:26).
He is nailed to the cross, then raised up and put on display for a crowd of those who rejected him. After crying out in a sense of abandonment, he declares, "It is finished!" and his body breathes its last breath (Matthew 27:35-50, John 19:30).
Surely, this was "a man of sorrows," one who was "acquainted with grief" (Isaiah 53:4).
As we engage with the stories of Good Friday, it becomes undeniably clear that our God is not one who is distant, and far off. Unlike many removed, hierarchical, elitist rulers, our God is one who chose (and continues to choose) to draw close to humanity, no matter the cost. God's kenotic nature of self-emptying love means that no matter the depth of emotional or physical pain any of us have experienced, we can know that Jesus is willing to go to the depths with us. He has been there too. From misunderstanding, betrayal, rejection, mockery, humiliation, physical abuse, to torture - he knows.
And yet, from the pain of the cross, he spoke over the crowds, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). With his arms stretched wide, he willingly chose to surrender his life to love, regardless. This is the miracle of Good Friday.
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(1) "The earliest known use of the noun Good Friday is in the Middle English period (1150—1500)," Oxford English Dictionary.
(2) In Jewish culture, a day begins when the first three stars would arrive in the night sky. This tradition developed from the creation story. "And it was evening and it was morning, one day" (Genesis 1:5).
(3) The hymns sung during Passover were typically the Hallel (Psalms 113-118).
(4) Stanley Hauerwas, Matthew, (Grand Rapids: BrazosPress, 2006), 217.
(5) Sweating blood, also known as hematidrosis, is a very rare condition where blood droplets or blood-tinged sweat is discharged from the skin, and is usually connected to extreme stress or emotional trauma.
WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS
Lyrics: Joseph Scriven; Music: Charles Crozat Converse
--
What a Friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!
--
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
--
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.
DARKNESS BEFORE THE LIGHT
One of the beauties of engaging with the liturgical calendar, is that each year you might be struck by a different piece of the story; each year you may be granted a new insight or revelation.
This year, as I read through the stories of Good Friday, I was deeply impacted through contemplating the Jewish understanding of a 'day.' By beginning the day with the entrance of night and darkness - the ancient Hebrew people were forced to start each day with a reminder of their own futility and need. They were forced to begin the day by choosing to trust in God's provision, as they surrendered to his invitation to rest. The day began with God's sufficiency, not human efficiency.
As I read through the scriptures this year, I was struck by the similarity in our celebration of the Easter weekend. Our journey to salvation does not begin in the light of resurrection, but through an encounter with agonizing darkness and a full revelation of human futility, depravity and insufficiency. It is here, in the darkness of Good Friday, that we are humbled, and laid low; yet it is here where we must begin. It is here where we remember that there is nothing we can do to earn our salvation or rescue. Rather, like the orientation of a Jewish day, our only path forward is to begin in the darkness, surrendering to the gift of God's grace - the gift of the cross - God's love poured out. We first begin by resting here.
It is in this place that we are invited to lay down our burdens and surrender to the revelation of our own weakness and weariness. At the cross we are invited to release the guilt we carry and the pains we hold. We are called to lean in to surrender and rest as a spiritual practice.
Jesus is with us in our suffering and sorrow. But Jesus also offers a way through our pain and suffering. On this Good Friday, we can be sure that victory of Easter Sunday is coming; but here, in this place, we are invited to start with rest. Here, even amidst the dark, hard places where we may find ourselves, we are asked to trust in God's abundant provision.
May we unburden here. May we rest here. In His grace.
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